What Happens After Someone Dies?
So…what happens next?
Death is one of the few things every family will eventually face.
Unfortunately, it doesn't come with an instruction manual.
When someone dies, loved ones are often expected to make important decisions while navigating shock, grief, exhaustion, and a mountain of paperwork.
It's overwhelming.
And while every situation is unique, there are a few common steps that families are typically required to take.
Knowing what those steps are ahead of time won't eliminate the grief.
My hope is that this article can reduce some of the uncertainty.
Step 1: Take a breath
This may sound obvious.
It's not.
Many people immediately feel pressure to do everything at once.
Call everyone.
Make arrangements.
Find documents.
Make decisions.
Handle paperwork.
The reality is that very few things need to happen in the first hour.
Or even the first day.
Give yourself permission to pause and breathe.
You're allowed to be a human being before becoming an administrator.
Step 2: Obtain a Legal Pronouncement of Death
The first time I saw this, my brain automatically went, “Oh! That’s just another term for a death certificate.” It’s not.
A legal pronouncement of death is the initial confirmation that a person has no vital signs. This records the exact date, time, and location of death.
Think of this as…for lack of a better term…death kickoff. This allows the body to be transported to the morgue, funeral home, or other determined location as well as starting the legal process.
Step 3: Notify immediate family & close friends
You don’t have to do this alone.
You shouldn’t have to do this alone.
Don’t do it alone.
Consider creating a phone tree. Don't text your people about a death if you can reasonably call them instead. Some conversations deserve a human voice. cough millennials cough
One person tells a few people.
Those people help notify others.
Grief is overwhelming enough without having to make fifty phone calls in the immediate aftermath.
Step 4: Contact the funeral home, cremation provider, or any provider involved in the arrangements for your loved one’s planning final resting place
If arrangements were planned in advance, documentation should help identify the provider and any pre-paid services.
If no arrangement exists, loved ones will need to select their method of internment and begin discussing next steps.
Step 5: Obtain death certificates
This is likely one of the most commonly overlooked steps.
You’re going to need more hard copies than you think.
Banks, insurance companies, financial institutions, government agencies, and other organizations often require them before releasing information, funds, or making changes.
Step 6: Locate important documents
Important documents may include:
Will or trust documents
Advance directives
Powers of attorney
Insurance policies
Birth certificates
Marriage certificates
Divorce decrees
Financial records
Something to consider discussing with your loved ones: do they have this information together and easily accessible for when the worst inevitably happens? The easier these documents are to find, the easier many subsequent tasks become.
Step 7: Contact insurance companies
If life insurance policies exist, beneficiaries will need to begin the claims process.
Gather:
Policy information
Contact information
Death certificates
before making phone calls whenever possible.
Step 8: Notify financial institutions
What falls under this umbrella?
Banks
Investment firms
Retirement account providers
Every organization has its own process, so on top of grieving, you are expected to have the patience of a saint. You may fail in that endeavor. That’s okay. Grief has no set face or expression and comes out of us in different ways.
Step 9: Secure digital accounts
These days, estate management involves more than just physical paperwork.
Important digital assets may include:
Email accounts
Social media profiles
Cloud storage
Website domain names
Online banking
Subscription services
Identifying and securing these accounts helps prevent future complications.
Step 10: Accept help
Yes, I said it. While I know some humans on this planet are capable of reaching out to their village for support in times of crisis, there are those of us (myself included) who would rather squeeze lemon juice into my own eyeball before accepting assistance.
Trust me - this time you want the help.
A lot of times when someone dies, those who love us don’t know how to help, but are desperate to do so.
Let them.
Accept meals.
Make them part of the phone tree.
Let them be the Watson to your Sherlock when you inevitably have to hunt for Uncle Johnny’s mortgage paperwork.
Allow them to sit quietly with you when the sadness is all-consuming and there are no words.
You were never meant to carry grief alone.
Common Misconceptions
“I have to do everything right now.”
No, you don’t.
While some items on the post-death checklist are critical, many can wait until you’ve had time to process what’s happened.
“I should know what to do.”
Most of us don’t.
Even if you’ve experienced loss before, every situation is unique.
“Asking for help is a burden.”
Oh honey, no.
Please take that thinking and throw it right out the window and into the dumpster where it belongs.
The people who love you are chomping at the bit to help.
Let them.
“Death isn’t a laughing matter.”
Sometimes it is.
Sometimes it has to be.
If for no other reason than to remind ourselves that we are still alive, even if we are hurting.
A final thought
The days immediately following a death are filled with uncertainty, as well as the random smorgasbord of emotions that come along with losing a loved one.
No checklist can remove the pain of losing someone. Having a plan and knowing where important information is located can make an overwhelming situation a little more manageable.
And sometimes, a little more manageable is enough in the moment.
Not Legal Advice
This article is intended for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal, medical, or professional advice. Because laws vary by state, territory, and country, please consult qualified legal and healthcare professionals regarding your specific circumstances.
